


Cause and Effect

by sageclover61



Series: Supernatural One-Word Bingo 2019 [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, blame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-09 22:21:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17413628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sageclover61/pseuds/sageclover61
Summary: Sam always knew he was to blame for all the bad things that happened. Introspection.Prompt: Cause





	Cause and Effect

 

There was a multitude of things Sam blamed himself for. The road to Hell was paved with good intentions and all that jazz. He blamed himself for Mary dying because if he’d never been born she’d still be alive. He blamed himself for the time Meg possessed him, and the deaths of the special children. Ruby, the demon blood, the apocalypse. If only he’d been better, less tainted, perhaps Heaven might have accepted him, instead of only further driving him and Dean apart. But maybe their relationship had only been rocky at best, even before that. He’d broken Dean’s trust over and over before that, why did their brokenness surprise him?

 

If he’d been able to fully convince Dean and Cas to leave well enough alone, his soulless body would never have wandered around Earth doing terrible things. The cage was the least that he deserved for everything done before that. All the trouble he caused.

 

Cause and effect. Actions and consequences. He might not have finished going for pre-law, but he was educated enough to know certain truths.

 

Sam didn't believe in fate or destiny. They’d been team free-will after all. He did, however, believe in the butterfly effect. And he’d met God and His children personally. So one of the big questions was, ‘how would one of those Big Deaths affect the world?’ He accepted his responsibility for the role in them, but that was trivial. He was always responsible. The cause. The source. The consequences. Those were what really mattered.


End file.
